‘Take this pill first thing tomorrow morning’

Were the words the doctor said as he gave me the antidote to suck the life outta me

Voices in my head repeat them

Silently

Constantly

Reminding me that i’m a Murderer.

They said it wouldn’t hurt

But, they lied

Cos on the inside 

Ive been fucked up lately

Nightmares on the daily

Cos i wanted to keep my baby but..

I couldn’t. 

I know i shouldn’t touch on such a touchy topic,

My minds yelling for me to stop

As the words flow from my soul like

Miss you 

Wanna kiss you

And yet we never met

This is as close as I’m gon get

To tell you how much I regret what i did to you

I took your life-

Before you could live it

Took my love-

Before i could give it 

And..

I apologize.

I apologize for all the lies I told you,

For the dreams that I sold you when you were conceived..

..I made you believe that I was ready

I acted like my world was steady

When it wasn’t.

They said i’d only end up in two places..

Behind prison bars with court cases

OR,

In a casket.

I didn’t feel like adding teenage mother to the list of terrible shit they said id become

So

Instead of having a son..

OR a daughter without a father and out of wedlock,

I decided not to keep you

& to speak the truth about the situation

Aint a day that goes by that you don’t cross my mind..

When i see another chick with her child

& i just be like

‘FUCK.’

But I just keep it to myself 

Cos what the hell can i really do?

But say,

I’m sorry i aborted you.